Most people try to improve themselves every year in a big way through the start of the year, their birthday or after a setback. However, it will soon lose its momentum. A better mindset would be to create small habits that will help you grow every day. Whilst personal growth doesn’t come down to sheer willpower and epiphanies, more so the art of building a house out of the everyday building blocks we have.
This habit helps you to get clarity first thing in the morning. Write down 3 key things. What’s the main thing you want to achieve today? What’s one small thing you can do to help you achieve this? What might distract you and what will you do instead? This will help you reduce decision fatigue later in the day whilst creating clarity around your priorities.
This helps you get clear about what it is you want to achieve. Over time this will develop into a habit that helps you focus on the right things throughout your day. You’ll start to spot opportunities that line up with your priorities and say no to anything that doesn’t. This may seem like little now but over time will really help.
When done regularly it begins to build your skills and knowledge. Another high impact habit is to spend between 20-40 mins practicing or reading something. Whether this is related to your career, fitness, creativity or relationships, it should be something that you’re dedicating time to. It should be slightly uncomfortable to keep you challenged and working within your comfort zone.
A lot of people will try to only do this when they have time or feel like doing it. A better approach is to link it to another habit you already have. After your coffee, before your first meeting or whilst commuting. This means that you’re not looking for huge breakthroughs but just showing up. If you can consistently practice or read for 30 mins a day you’ll be engaging with around 150 hours of focused material in a year. This will help you gain visible competence in most areas.
Exercise can often be viewed as a health goal but the real benefit is the mental benefit it brings. Doing a quick bit of exercise, whether walking, strength training or mobility will give you a reliable way to reset your mood, focus and stress levels. Try to keep it simple. Usually between 15-30 mins will do. Longer can be saved for when you have more energy and time.
Exercise changes your physiology which then affects your decision making. If you can make it a non-negotiable part of your routine you’ll find you’re less reactive and will be able to make clearer decisions. Over time this will help you gain confidence from keeping your promise to yourself.
Review your day. Spend 5-10mins reflecting on what went well, what you avoided or messed up and 1 actionable thing you can do tomorrow. Add in a quick thank you by thinking of 3 things you’re grateful for today. This will help you learn from your day and overcome the brains bias for focusing on negative or incomplete things.
Most people will fall into the trap of repeating the same issues without reflecting. By taking the time to reflect, you’ll start to make small adjustments to your actions. The thank you will help you focus on the positives and break your mindset of always feeling like you’re lacking. By consistently doing this you’ll have a personal log of your progress.
Often personal growth isn’t done alone. A 5th habit would be to keep a few key relationships active. This could be having a short chat with a mentor, peer or friend once per week where you can give each other honest feedback. Or simply asking better questions consistently. This will create external mirrors to help you grow.
People will find they can identify their blind spots quicker and hold themselves accountable. As they’re not being used in times of crisis they’ll remain a positive force. Over time this will create a culture around you that will help you behave better.
You won’t be able to do too much of these habits straight away. Trying to write, exercise and journal for an hour on day 1 will usually lead to you giving up within a week. A good way to start is to do them for a short amount of time. Reflect for 5 mins, read 10 pages, go for a 10min walk and review with 3 sentences. Once it becomes a habit you can increase the time and intensity. Consistency will give you the conditions to be intense.
It can be helpful to track your habits but keep it simple. Often a yes/no will suffice. The aim is to track so you can see the pattern. Don’t worry about getting perfect scores. If you miss a day it’s just data.
None of these habits will create huge changes within 2 weeks. However, they will slowly change how you view yourself. By consistently stating your priorities you’ll start to view yourself as someone who takes control of their time. By practicing a skill most days you’ll start to view competence as the norm. The exercise and reflection will help reduce any noise. The relationship will help provide you with a different perspective and corrective information.
Overall this creates a virtuous cycle. Your mornings will become better meaning you’re more likely to learn. Your exercise will help you reflect better in the evenings. Your honest relationship will help you have better priorities for your next morning. It won’t be easy and you won’t necessarily be successful externally but it will increase the likelihood of you putting effort into goals that will still mean something to you.
